[Unsorted - T]
LOOK ALIKE
“YOU!”
An angry shout echoes a crossed the town square, I've learned from a young age to not pry into other people's business so I lower my head over my coffee and hot sandwich. After a moment of mumbling the people around me stir more. Some shuffling and turning in their seats.
“DON'T IGNORE ME!” The screaming bounces closer, hotter, and almost sounds familiar. After a moment murmurs turns into a low roar as people's tables scrape away from mine. Sighing I finally look up to see a milk chocolate brown girl with almond-shaped brown eyes and her long straightened hair flowing behind her I frown.
Who on earth?
Her fashion sense is pretty close to normal with a knee length and flowing pink, orange, and green tie dye almost flower like dress. Over her dress is a jean jacket to cover her arms down to her elbows, she's probably wearing it in order to block some of this autumn chill.
“ITS ABOUT TIME YOU LOOKED YOU HALF DROWNED MONKEY!”
Raising a brow I look left and right, but no one else is giving the screaming person the time of day. Probably all either posting about it online or debating calling the police but isn't going to because they think someone else already has. Finally, the woman gets to me, smacks her hands down on my small wire table top making is wiggle a little.
Sighing I give her my full attention.
“Do you even known what you're doing here, huh?”
You know lady, screaming at me and then questioning what I'm doing here isn't helping anything. To be honest she looks a lot like me, well. I take that back. She looks a lot like how the me in my head looks. I'm far from that pretty or radiant or confident. I would never wear a dress without leggings, especially if I was planning on storming a crossed a town square.
I spit my coffee and then wave my hand at the seat a crossed from me. After a moment she sits, her dark hair isn't straight now that I look at it, its has some relaxed curls in it. Less of a frizzy mess and more of a controlled and beautiful form. Smiling to myself I remember those moments when I was that pretty, her hair has blue and green and blond in it, the signs of a fading (although after a couple of weeks at least) of blue highlights.
My smile widens.
She's far braver than I ever could be.
Finally, she sighs, through her nose, in annoyance and disgust. I know this sound well, it's much different from my thoughtful sighs or my bored ones or my body just wants something to do or I forgot to breathe while writing. Her brown eyes stare into mine and suddenly I realize that I'm looking over my lopsided glasses and she has none. Could she have contacts in? What is she exactly? Why does she look like me? Only cooler?
“Look, um, let's say Wresie,” She huffs slightly as if annoyed by my choice in pen name. “I'm, well, you called me Darkwater prior.” Sipping my coffee I nod, this makes sense. She looks just like how I imagined an adult version of my dream-self to look. Weird...
She waits to see if I'm going to say anything but sighs again when I don't. Apparently, I'm really annoying. “Look. You haven't been doing anything the way it's meant to be! Look at yourself! A frizz ball dressed in a hoodie, yoga pants, and muddy tennis shoes! You don't look like you care about yourself, you don't act like you do, and, to be honest, its scaring us.”
I frown now, “Us?” It's the first word I've spoken since ordering my food, no reason to bother the people around me. “Are there more of you?”
Darkwater sighs again, this one was sadder than before, “Plenty. Versions of yourself AND your characters included. Although they don't feel neglected they feel you are. And if you're neglected then someday they won't have a person anymore! And we're scared for you! Are you okay...?” After a long pause in which I glare this person she sighs and runs fingers through her hair in frustration. “Right. I'm talking to me. I would've decked someone for that... Um... Just, I dunno, try to think about yourself a bit?”
I sigh, this time, finish my coffee and hold it into the air, “May I get a refill, please?” And then set it back down. It was the only way I got noticed by waiters and waitresses anymore unless I literally dragged them from other tables while they were talking. And that's rude... I only did it once and I was on my period so it's justified. Then I shake my head to Darkwater. “I wish I could. The world could care less about someone like me. I'll never make it anywhere. I'm not the super hero you are, I'm not the star coordinator like Namine, I'm not the real life angel like Fallyn, I'm not the super servant like Vi, I'm not super smart like Shion, I'm not fabulous like Irene, I'm not powerful like Joshua, and I'm not loved like Devion! What does it matter, anyways? I work whatever job I can, try to make ends meet, and do my best to keep my complaints to myself. I. Don't. Matter. In. THE GRAND SCHEME...! OF ANYTHING!!”
Darkwater frowns at me.
“Not if you don't try.”
“Oh. My. GAWD! Not this crap again...!” I lean in towards her. “Look. The world is full of shakers and movers, I'm not able to scream loud enough to make anyone hear me or look at me. I can't change anything... EVER. So don't even think of telling me I can. All I can do is write and draw and then serve others. That's it, that's all it ever will be, working for someone else and never working for my own happiness...!”
“Then make the best of it, Wresie... Please...? Do something. Anything... We're worried...”
I sigh. “I'm not dying from hunger or lack of water or depression okay? You can be assured of these things. I have made my promises. Now. Do you want half of my french dip?” She blinks at me and then starts to crack up. After a moment of light giggles she shakes her head.
“No thank you, but the offer was nice... Oh man. Only you would offer your food to someone you were just yelling at,” She reaches out and places a hand on my shoulder. “I know you're going to hate this next line, but listen to me... I'm glad you're still you. I love you and I care about you. Don't forget that.” After a moment I nod to her. She stands, “Later, Wres.” And she walks off as a waiter comes to my table and fills my cup.
“My apologies on the wait, Ma'am.”
I look at him before smiling, “Hold on a moment.” He is confused as I reach into my purse and pull out a couple wadded up dollar bills. “I want to make sure you get your tip. Sometimes I stay until the shift change because I'm writing. Here, it isn't much, but it's all the cash I have.”
“Thank you, Ma'am.”
“You're welcome... Oh! And pay the kindness forward...!” I finish my food and coffee in a couple bites. As I go off I hum to myself. I bet the waiter hasn't noticed yet I gave him two tens. And with that I skip off, my meal had been paid for prior and coffee refills were free.
So.
Maybe Darkwater is right, I worry too much about what's going on inside my head. But that doesn't mean that I can let myself drown in it. I need to come out and be myself, not the fake me that the world has molded.
And I'm off to do more of my day in this small town I'm visiting. It's good to change your viewpoint every now and again, so I did. This trip was to clear my head... I guess the people in my head, my characters, thought it was a good idea to do to. I hope we can all be happy in the end...
We'll see...
We will see.
No comments:
Post a Comment